We have found a lot of outlandish stories on Reddit over the years (like a lot), but one post from a postpartum mother left us feeling like we were having a fever dream. A week after giving birth via a cesarean section, this woman’s husband left her and their newborn to sleep at a friend’s house. He gave no timeline for coming home to his wife who described herself as a “truly sleep-deprived mother with a sizable flesh wound” (and anyone who’s ever endured a c-section knows that this is an apt description).
What prompted this, you ask? Well one night, the couple’s baby got upset while the new mom was tidying up the kitchen. He let out a “blood-curdling hunger cry,” and instead of doing something to help, the dad started recording. He was taking a video to send to his friends with the caption “my son hates me.”
When his breastfeeding wife asked for the baby, he said he needed one more moment to finish the video.
“Our son was losing it,” she said. “I lost it.”
OP called her husband out for this “screwed up stunt,” and he started sulking (boo hoo). Dad got defensive and told Mom to go upstairs so he didn’t have to look at her face.
*Lets out a blood-curdling anger cry*
“I said if he doesn’t want to look at my face there were keys and a truck outside and he could remedy that anytime he damn well pleased.”
Dad stupidly accepted this “offer” — and has been away for two days now. He is staying 45 minutes away with his best friend’s family. OP asked him to come home because … do we really need to explain this? She needs to eat, sleep, shower, and recover from her c-section, not to mention a supportive partner to help with the baby during all this!
“He said I kicked him out and now all of a sudden I want him to come back,” OP wrote. “He said no, he would not be doing that, and for me to just put the baby down in a swing and take care of him myself. He just wants to sit and enjoy time with his friends, he tells me.”
How truly unbelievable and unforgivable. But hold onto your hats, because the best friend’s wife got involved and texted some things that are just as dumbfounding.
“He’s just taking a breather, he will be home. Wouldn’t you rather him leave than say or do something he would regret? Be confident in yourself. You don’t need a man to take care of your baby! You’ve got this.”
Um, WHAT?! He “needs a breather?” Mom needs a support system and a shower! Platitudes don’t do sh*t, lady. Confidence doesn’t magically heal a c-section incision. And the regret ship has already sailed. He did something he should regret, and this woman shouldn’t be enabling that. How, how, how is she ok with this? Redditors agreed they would be driving their husband’s friend home ASAP if he tried to do something like this.
Now this mom is left wondering if this is “a deal breaker or a teachable moment.”
“Should I be packing up to leave? Or should I be sitting down and working this out?”
As you’ve probably guessed, the internet is rallying around her. Because on top of all the physical and mental stressors of the fourth trimester — which is already hard enough — this woman is trying to recover from a major abdominal surgery that just happened while taking care of a newborn. She needs all the support she can get, but her husband is too busy being a selfish, “giant baby.”
“I can’t believe you’re having to do this alone,” one person wrote. “Wtf he’s using all his paternity time that is intended to help YOU off for his own personal spa week?”
We can definitely acknowledge that everyone needs and deserves time to cool off when tensions rise (a common occurrence with a newborn). In fact, it’s a mature, healthy, responsible thing to do. But that looks like taking some deep breaths or taking the dog for a walk — not taking an extended vacation for bro time.
“It’s not like he left for an hour to calm down and realize he was a butthole, he’s been gone for TWO DAYS,” one Redditor said before doing some math that stopped us in our tracks. “Literally 20% of his baby’s life.”
It may seem extreme, but the internet would support a divorce, saying that if this a-hole doesn’t return home immediately, he should swing by the courthouse and grab some divorce papers. Better yet, if Mom can get a ride and/or a babysitter, she can do it herself.
One commenter kept it simple, breaking the situation into three truths:
First, OP may choose to forgive, but “she will never forget” that when things got bad, her husband left.
One commenter could relate to this, explaining that on the day she and her newborn were released from the hospital after having a c-section, her husband went to see a movie with his brother. Five years later, she still remembers crying in the car, begging him not to go.
“I think about it all the time,” she continued. “He fully admits that he f*cked up, [but] the damage is done. There is still a part of me that does not trust him. He was only gone for 3 hours. I can’t imagine being abandoned for days in a vulnerable state and coming back from that.”
Second, OP needs to remember that there are two sides to every story. So she should “take a moment (with a newborn, ha!)” to reflect and remember that these are responses to a “biased view.”
“Which may be accurate,” they said. “We don’t know, we’re strangers, but only you can really see what happened.”
Next, unfortunately, is that something like this will “happen again.” It’s a sentiment that several people echoed. After all, this man is 47. Most of his habits and values have been firmly established. And when people show you who they are, you should believe them
“This is a demonstration of a lack of emotional maturity and self-reflection,” they said. “You’ve got 18 years ahead of you. He abandoned his partner when things got hard. Having children forces us to confront the kind of person we married. Who did you marry?”
Before you go, check out these unbelievable stories about Reddit’s worst dads.
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